"i feel like a zombie; i don't feel anything and i don't care about anything."
no secret that im dreadfully afraid of zombies but..
i'd really like to be a zombie now please.

I feel like i've abandon this place for far too long now.
So yah..

I recently turned 17! fi-na-ll-y. Twas a reay good day although i was deep in guilt for being mad at my friends, who planned a suprise for me. Haha. See now wht awesome friends i have?

Blogging mojo went down the drain.. again. Til next time!

What a beautiful day to read. The sun's out, got wind in my hair, got a pak, h2o, my home made panini and of cause, a book :)

Its amazing how someone who you thought you know so well... Changes. I meant one day something happens and what? That person goes searching for someone else for company? Haha. Maybe what people have been saying's right. Maybe im just used. Hah. Glad i cleared that off :)

my current self esteem level is way down low. i am absolutely depressed...........
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY GOOD LOOKING GIRLS IN SINGAPORE.. WHAT MORE THE WORLD!!
im sad cus i cant have a nice smile with my teeth showing. hais hais hais.
im jelez at girls who have really really nice curly hair. I MEAN, HOW DO YOU EVEN TAME THE CURLS!!!!! hais hais hais.

to top it off, im sick. i have a job interview involving medical things tmr and im sick. abit ironic huh. owell. i had a shitload of fun tdy. swimming in the rain to ice and water with a really awesum bunch of people..... <3

ok enuf lovey dovey for now. gonna get some cough syrup and get higggggghhhhhhhh.

Post O's

Lepak
Highlights
Paranormal 2
Fish&co
Hari raya haji
Sya prachakaporn's 17th
Book reading @ airport
Eyebrow waxing
Lepak
Last minute shopping
PROM
After prom
Bake
Malay play thing i forgot the name at fort canning
Lepak
SCHMELAKATRIP in a few hours

I have another eye infection and this time its rly bad. WHO THE HELL CARES RIGHTTTTTTT HAHAAHAHAHAHAA i.refuse.to.wear. Glasses.
Prom was cool. EVERYONE LOOKED GOOD OMG I FEEL LIKE CHEWING ON THEM. THE GUYS WERE SRSLY GOODLOOKING.
*commitssuicide*.

After life

As much as i've been trying to avoid feeling this way, i just can't. I know i shouldn't, so why am i even thinking abt it?

P.S; My hair's gone wild.

P.S(2); O'S R FCKNG OVR.

I am fckng stressed out. I don know how im gonna face my results next year.

Ah ah ah ah staying alive

I am mentally exhausted. Theres so many things to do but i just cant find the time or convinience to do it. O's are barely in 3 weeks.

Oh god help me.


Slightly brighter note, dad's gg oversease. Hopefully he'll get some gooood makeup for me :) :)

DANCING IN SEPTEMBER

I love the one with hayley.(credits to tumblr)(once ive got my tumblr together, i'll follow you for sure :)

On a serious note, prelims suck. I am dissapointed at my english and especially poa and c.science.

I did fairly well for mcq and practical for sciences. 32/40 and 20/30 respectively. i just screwed up the theory ppr. esp chemistry. I redid my poa compulsary question and i balanced! thats like 20++ marks! in my acutal ppr, i was not even close -.-

urgh with my points and a mere pass for my english, i can't get into the courses i want to :( depressing ttm.

Fuck, i need to be independent and disciplined. for just another 2 months and then....

i'll be having fun, going crazy and laughing like a retard like this. hell yeh.

til then eh... i will,

Its the night of hari raya aidilfitri and all i can think about are poly courses, university and my future job. I am so scared.. I need to study and do well.. I need to :( :(

Selamat hari raya aidilfitri.

i.think.i.am.gg.insane.laughing.in.front.of.the.screen.by.myself.

MLIA FTW!!!!!!!!!!!

The other day I learned that if you say 'beer can' with an English accent, you're saying 'bacon' with a Jamaican accent. Mind blown. MLIA

Today, I renamed my iPod "This ship" just for the pleasure of seeing the phrase "This ship is syncing" MLIA

Today, I realized YOUR HEAD VOICE JUST GOT LOUDER. Yourheadvoicejustgotfaster. Your. Head. Voice. Just. Got. Slower. Your head voice is back to normal. MLIA

Today I realised that when ever I read Harry Potter, I always say the dialogue in my head in a British accent. Please tell me I'm not the only one. MLIA

Today, I realized that if you are what you eat, Voldemort is a unicorn. MLIA

I grew up in a college town, and one Halloween our doorbell rang and we opened the door expecting to see trickortreater—but what was in front of our open door—was another door! Like, a full-on wooden door, that had a sign that said “Please knock.” So we did, and the door swung open to reveal a bunch of college dudes dressed as really old grandmothers, curlers in their hair, etc, who proceeded to coo over our “costumes” and tell us we were “such cute trick or treaters!” One even pinched my cheek. Then THEY gave US candy, closed their door, picked it up and walked to the next house. MLIA

I CAN JUST DIE FROM LAUGHING.

Oh, and my conversation with cleverbot. I was bored and felt like talking to someone :/
CLEVERBOT IS A MIND BOBBLING GENIUS I TELL YOU.
and hence the name..

Ok ciao.

I feel bubbly and excited and all things good when i think abt the conversation yesterday. It was the same thing you said to me this period last year :)....
But i have to be strong, not to fall for you again. I shouldn't hope for something to happen, cause i know it won't. Nothing happened the last time...

Goodmorning september! Its 10 am, i have prelims tmr, and im still in bed. This feels good :)

my eyes are so puffy like a goldfish now ): I havent stopped crying for three days. I cant stop thinking abt what would, could and should have happen.. i can't believe you're gone.

the kebumikan yesterday morning was fine. Although i tried so, very, hard not to cry, it was just impossible not to. I immediately cried upon reached their house, because they were already carrying the jenazah out.
I really hope your in a better place now, and maybe, we'll meet again..

I cant stop myself from crying.
I cant stop feeling guilty and regretful.

"You don't what you got until its gone"

Guilt. Regret. I wont be able to forgive myself,ever.
I am still in great disbelief. I cant stop myself from crying.
You told me to come abd visit you, but i couldnt. I was too busy with school. I thought it was normal.. How could i be so stupid!! Of cause it was serious and i didnt even bothered abt visiting you! You said that you would be fine, the medication was stabalising you and all.. I thought you were getting better...

I Hoped you'd get well soon and you replied "Hehe, me too!! So can see u
:-P"

Those were the last things you said to me.

Al-fatiha

My throat hurts :( this is what you get for not finishing up your antibiotics. In fact.. To think of it... It is very hard for me to finish up antibiotics :/ haiy throat o throat.. Why are you always prone to getting throat infections?
Ok maybe i know why.........
but ive stopped!!
For sometime now.. So why did you come back?

Maybe this is my challenge for the start of ramadhan.. So.. I have to be strong yes??!!

So im in the bus now on the way to my cousin's. Was from pasir ris beach chilling with the icep company and rob frm uk. Before that lunch at geylang. Good day aye :) now i wish the aussie dudes wld come back and visit us :c

Updates and pictures frm my cutezie hello kitty poloroid as soon as i find a scanner.
xx

Deeply depressed.
The sadness that comes with this Loneliness is just killing me softly.

And fuck venice.

Ok since i cant emo emo anymore, shall go back to blogging.

I really, really miss the december gang! well, esp the guys. krg dah sebok dgn matair sendiri,double/triple date lupa org sini eh? Sampai esplanade pun tinggalkan ktrg!!! Haiy ok sorry bringing up old story.

 Haiy but i rlly miss just hanging out. I really wonder if it'd be the same this december as it was last year's :(

Nonetheless, I still adore all those people up there. For only god knows why, esp the girls, i feel... like.. hugging them so tight and never letting go harharhar. They just.. know me best i guess :)

OH YES DO YOU KNW HOW FAT I FEEL LATELY. I HAD TWO BUFFETS, ONE LUNCH ONE DINNER THIS WEEK!!

Hei Sushi with the kiddos on monday.

The girls and i laughed so hard at this picture!! Aisyah even pushed me out of my seat =,=

I scare myself with my eyes sometimes too.

Eclipse aft that. Unfortunately, i was sitting in the middle of two overly obsessed edward/jacob and a beacon sandwich weirdos who kept hyperventilating every now and then -,- In addition to that, the whole cinema stinked of feet!! At least the movie wasnt bad.

The whole week then, was filled with classes til late afternoon. Its only the first week of banding and i feel like an over-chewed chewing gum x.x

Since i am feeling extremely fat, i think i shall go for another round of jogging tonight. I feel like yesterday's wasnt enough to burn off those calories.

xxx